This past couple of months my world has flipped upside down and around and then after I thought things settled, where flipped again. A heart-breaking end to a relationship I was in for 6 beautiful, hard, romantic, challenging years. It is a great cosmic joke, when you know you should end it with a person b/c you want different things in life and you don't b/c you love them so much - I hope that is the reason why I stayed so long - so he ends it in a quick 30 seconds with, "I really love you but I want to be friends" statement. A shock to my heart and it's too late to end it with him now! I think we both knew about a year ago that we needed to move forward from one another but wanted to keep trying. For me, all the 'signs' where there, but I was under the delusion that I wasn't important enough to live the life I wanted and was more than willing to live his life. Which as I am waking up seeing how many women fall into this misunderstanding of 'love' and 'commitment'. The actual breaking up was tough, but what was even more tough was the aftershocks of the big shift. I found myself learning more and more about what it is to be heart-centered, kind to myself, the benefit of boundaries, anger is good and distance is even better. I guess sometimes I just need to be pushed into reality!
I am learning to have acceptance for who I am right now. Not for who I want to be, but who I am right now in this very moment. I feel more in tune and aligned with my relationship with myself than I have in a long time. I owe that to being open to experiencing this break-up exactly how I felt it. I had a fantasy idea of who I should be during a split with being a "Spiritual Person". But guess what - I am a human being that has emotions and as humans we learn to use the emotions as we do with all things in life to grow from. What I think is "Spiritual" is being really vulnerable and honest - raw - with yourself and others(when needed). Releasing attachment to someone that I thought was going to be my life partner was HUGE for me. I do want to make clear that I still love my ex and always will. He is an amazing person and I thank him for everything we experienced together on our journey together.
Why I am gushing my feelings out to you,because that is who I am and it is what stimulated me to write this blog. To write about what is being a "Spiritual Person" living in this great world. I have lived many different angels of "Spirituality" and in hopes with writing about it to gain more insight for you and me!
This is blog is journey for you and me ~ I hope you will enjoy it and post comments! I love comments.
PS. I am a big dork - you will see with the jokes I post - just wanted to give you a heads up!
Much Love,
Jennifer
